I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
