Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
