My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
