I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize