When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Floor bacon is actually really good
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
A bitchslap is in order.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
