My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Congratulations! We have a period
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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