He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Dick very happy bro
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
