we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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