Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize