i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head