i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Bring me that man meat
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner