Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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