no, he came in my armpit
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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