lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
