My nipple is on Facebook.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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