shes about as inviting as chlamydia
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize
