singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
