i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
