i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
