then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
