Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
