first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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