just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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