I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize