dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
