the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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