Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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