you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
