you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Moan for me like Helen Keller
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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