Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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