is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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