I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
