Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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