Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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