At least make sure they are 18
Why
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
