I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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