We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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