My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Four minutes until I can fart!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
