Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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