whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
