Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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