My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
