It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
