Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
