mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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