Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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