Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
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My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
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He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy