all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
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He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
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For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol