Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"