Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.