shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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