I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
