honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I don't deserve a penis
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
