Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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