wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize