There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
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