and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
