dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
