good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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