so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Randomize
