There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
