Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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